Try
by kitkat1003
Summary: Rated for language and suicide stuff. Just angsty with maybe a little OOC. Enjoy, read, and review!


Tucker knew he'd never get a girl. He was rude, sexist, and insensitive, but hey, that's just how he rolled. He also knew he'd never be a leader like Wash was. He was too stupid, too lazy, too unmotivated. He really didn't care though.

That was lie. He wanted to be a good leader. He wanted to wipe that smirk off Felix's traitor face when he kicked his ass. He wanted Wash to quit treating him like a child and start treating him like a man. After all, he was a man. Caboose was a child, but he was pretty mature.

Dammit.

It sucked that he always failed, that he screwed up the mission over and over. I mean, Jesus Christ! Caboose screwed up less than he did!

Oh well. He had to keep trying. That's what he was supposed to do, right?

* * *

Caboose knew he wasn't smart. It was obvious. Everyone told him that he was, so he shouldn't be surprised, right? It did make him feel bad, though, when he was called stupid. He was as smart as he could be, right? Oh, wait, he could get smarter! He could work hard and get smarter so everyone would like him! He was working hard, but it wasn't working. They kept calling him dumb! Why wasn't it working? He helped them into the command place, so they should be happy with him! It hurt, the ridicule. He seemed to understand less, especially after O'Malley. He wanted to be appreciated, even if he wasn't smart. But, they wanted him to be smart, so he would be.

He had to keep trying. He wanted the insults to stop, so he kept trying.

* * *

Church didn't want to be like the Director. He was based off the AI who was based off the asshole, so it was hard to do so. His memories kept him away from the man who hurt him, but he couldn't help but feel like he was starting to be like the guy. His friends called him Church! The Director was named Leonard Church! He was also acting a lot like the Director. He was cold and insensitive, and no matter what he told himself, he hadn't let her go. He'd hurt his friends once, called them terrible things a friend shouldn't say, and it hurt to see them go. He wouldn't do that again EVER. He wouldn't.

He made the same mistakes, hurt others while they tried to help him, and didn't care.

But, he'd try. He'd try to be his own person. He'd try to not be the person he was made from. He had to try.

* * *

Carolina tried to be kind. It was hard, after all the shit she went through in project. Her father, the Director had turned her distant, untrusting, and she hated him for it. She could see the others were scared of her, minus Caboose, who seemed too dumb to figure out how dangerous she was, or just didn't care. Either way, she was secretly glad to have a person who liked her, even if the person was extremely dumb. Still, she felt like she was becoming the person her father created, and she was scared of what she would do.

No matter what, though, she'd try to be herself, a caring person. She'd try for York, for everyone she'd lost. She'd always try.

Wash wanted to be perfectly sane, even if he couldn't. He had too many memories held within his mind. An AI committed suicide in his head because of the torture it was put through, so it was no surprise he had a few scars. He was untrusting, taking a page out of Carolina's book. The people he'd thought cared for him tried to kill him. He couldn't believe others liked him after that.

Then, there were the Reds and Blues.

They had gone through almost as much shit as he had, but they were happy, caring, and worked together as a team. They helped bring down project freelancer, even as a rowdy bunch of idiots, and they were SIMULATION SOLDIERS. The lowest type of soldier out there. Not to mention, they were planted in the most useless canyon in all of the simulation bases. Yet, after being attacked by AI's, the Meta, finding out their whole military career was a lie, AND getting crash landed on a planet during a civil war, they remained upbeat and happy. If they could do it, why couldn't he?

He'd try. He'd try because they could succeed. He'd keep trying.

* * *

The Director stared blankly at the video as Carolina and Epsilon left, the pistol on the table beside him. They closed the door, and he locked down the facility and destroyed all his files, except for that one video. He couldn't. It was too hard.

She was his everything, and now she was gone. He loved her so much, and now he couldn't see her ever again; her smile and the way she looked at him when he did something dumb, they way she kissed him. It was all gone.

He wanted to see her so badly, so he risked everything. He got so close too. She was almost there, but she slipped through his fingers again. He hated it. He tried so hard, but he never succeeded. Sighing, he looked at the pistol on the table. Maybe she was there, waiting for him on the other side. He never believed in a God, but anything was possible, especially with all he'd done. Maybe, if he left this world, he'd find her in another. Putting the gun up to his head, he smiled, but it was bitter, for he knew she probably wasn't there.

But hey, he had to try, right?


End file.
